Choose To Abuse…Myself

Everytime I fall for a man he treat’s me like this.

I’m always the one giving; giving emotionally, physcally and financially when I have it.

And at the end of it all, I’m the one who is chasing him, begging  him to Please Come Back.

 Why can’t I be the one who is fulfilled at some point?

Don’t I deserve to be desired, Loved and treated with some form of respect?

But, I always choose the low life who will drain me in every way he can.

 The men I choose have dark souls who prey on the needy and desperate.

They know how messed up my up bringing was because I tell them from the begining.

They know how ensecure I am about things like my hair and my weight.

Yeah, he can see it, because I wear it all the time, I own it.

  I even embrace the fact that I am not worthy of him or of true happiness.

So, I settle.

 I do go in to all of these relationships with the hope of change. Maybe this time it will be different.

And when I express to the men, I am going to give my all, why do I expect them not to get what they want and go?

 I even pray , “Lord help me to find a good man.”